I pissed off a GOOD friend, (now an EXgood friend, kevin)
He and i were in chat, and he was talking something, (someone from our history), and the N word came up....
Carole was in the chatroom too. And she was a new member, not that should have made a difference. But as she was a new member, we didnt know her, didnt know her issues on anything, no less the use of the nword or anything really..
I tried asking kevin to refrain from the use of that word, especially in public with people we didnt know... I had actually had this conversation with him on several occasions, on other forums.. (My view being similar to his, in that the N word is not necessarily a racial reflection, in that anyone can be a 'n word'... but typically it IS associated with race, and I believe any term used in a deragatory manner or is typically associated as a racial comment is something i dont use or do)
But, in this situation, the real reason was that I didnt think it appropriate to use in front a female and a new member...
ESPECIALLY when/after I had several other discussions on how to get more traffic/members here....
Using the n word or getting any negative reputation is the opposite of trying to get more traffic here..
He went off on me a little bit, not that bugged me, it was more that he refused to recognize that it was counter-productive to WHAT I WANTED..
Also, you should know, that he is the promoter that sponsors and puts on the MarineAquariumExpo (
www.marineaquariumexpo.com)
He knows business...And I have helped him at the show for 2 years, (and 1 year when he was president of the local club)
I have also gone to bat for him, and i mean completely, to the point of alienating myself from the local SOCAL hobbyist over it...
He was publicly accused of embezzlement, theft, fraud, etc... Specific details/information was discussed publicly, (of course not all the info, just what benefited the 'accusers'..
The accusers were the new president of the local club.. .the motivation of the accusations??? and the timing of the accusations??
the local club puts on Reef-a-Palooza And they dont want competition... the timed the publicity to negatively affect public attendance to MAX, (marineaquarium Expo)... And they used thier 'club' status to it... (if your a club member, you shouldnt patronize the guy that stole from the club)
They also know that some vendors cant afford to buy booths to two events a year in this area, so some vendors were forced to choose which event...
Plain and simple... a local club, (a bunch of reefing geeks) using deplorable tactics to increase profits... (assuming there is any profits from putting on Reef-a-Palooza or selling xmas dinner party at $50 a pop, and selling $300-500 worth of raffle tickets each month... etc.... cause they refuse to disclose financial reports just like they accused kevin of)
(anyway, sorry for the tangent... just showing how far and involved i got because he was a good friend, and how pissed I was when i asked for one thing, respect for a new member)
The other person... hmmmm..... Carole...... I pissed her off... not intentionaly, .. i guess it never is... but, I was blunt... and went beyond the 'comfort level' basically went too far... and really, she is right as I kinda knew what was and wasnt too far... and i basically drew a line in the sand, which, per my comments above, are counter-productive to gaining more members here.....
And I really should be appreciative of the members that are here and have shown a clear and unmistabke support for me, this forum and the friends that I do have that seem to not mind too much that i am me, and not many are... hehehehe
So, this will hopefully serve as a public and SINCERE apology to Carole, and again, I am glad you are back, and I did miss you.
